Thanks for stopping by! Here on BECOMING LOLA I share stories on becoming minimalist, as well as living a pure clean life as a style-obsessed digital nomad with a no BS approach to ethical fashion + travel. Grab a glass of wine and start here: Building A Minimalist Wardrobe.


200 ideas for making female friends as an adult before the last day of summer

I think it comes as no big surprise dear reader, that when I packed up all my shit to travel the world solo and become a minimalist for the sake of...well, a quarter life crisis, finding myself, valuing experiences over materialism, yada yada enter reason here... that once I returned to American status quo, my next big move would be to work on my most prized possessions of all. Drum roll, friendships! Duh.

You thought I was gonna say my Prada right? Riiight.

I'm still pretty much a loner. Making friends as an adult is hard. Am I alone in that? Seriously, even as the founder of Femmeboss, which is the first and only matchmaking app for women to make adult holistic friendships, I still get isolated and focused on ambition (workaholicism) over social circle expansion. What a bummer. Practice what I preach. Yeah I know. So here is my last ditch effort for the year to really go balls to the wall (what does this saying mean again?? hope it applies) on making friends the old fashioned way - EFFORT. Shocker.

So while I work on actually getting out of my home office, please indulge in the most exhaustive list you'll ever find for making female friends before summer is officially up. And for my girls across the pond, dogear this for next year.

  1. Be present: for some of you, this may mean putting down your mobile phone. The first and most important piece of advice we can offer is to be someone who is not only interesting, but someone who is interested in other people. Being present is the best and fastest way to create sincere connection with other people.
  2. Pick up a new hobby or class: what are you intrigued by? Glass blowing, knitting, sourdough bread making… Whatever it is, sign up! Do a google search for classes in your area and enjoy learning for fun. Oh yes, and while you are there, talk to the people around you and per #1, listen to their story. This is sure to unravel other areas of interest and intrigue.
  3. Join a sports team: a fun way to meet people is to share a common goal and to work at it. 
  4. One of the most raw aspects of meeting people through sport is witnessing instinctual elements of their personality as they come through in the competitive nature of sport. The reserved accountant suddenly becomes super fierce on the soccer field or the sculptor also happens to be an incredible team captain If you’re worried about your athletic performance, maybe take the pressure off and join a fun league of a hybrid sport like golf frisbee or a league that competes for a charitable cause (the winner decides the recipient charity of choice). Whatever you choose, just get moving! You’ll be surprised just how much fun you will have.
  5. Open mic anyone? For the poet, singer or musician on the inside, open mic sessions are great ways to visit different venues in your city and bare your soul to a group of strangers. Even if you don’t perform, witnessing the talents of another in an accessible environment provides endless conversation starting ideas, i.e. “Hey, I really enjoyed your cover of <> , did you know the original artist wrote it as a commentary on <>”. 
  6. Volunteer: find a cause that strikes home for you and volunteer regularly. Meeting people serving alongside of you already aligns your values and the folks you serve will have great stories which you will become part of. 
  7. Book club: First rule of book club? Never mention book club! We kid, we kid. First rule is actually read the book. The type of books the group reads will quickly fit you with your tribe and lead to lots of fun, insightful discussions.
  8. Get certified: Whether it is in scuba diving, CPR or a post-graduate certification, this is a fun way to meet people and beef up your resumé. Contacts you meet in such classes often know of other interesting seminars or events that can lead to greater networking opportunities for work or play.
  9. Become a tourist in your own city: don’t wait for friends or relatives to visit, check out a museum or attraction in your current city on your own. You may meet someone who visits your city regularly on business and is looking for a friend to dine with. 
  10. Attend special interest conventions: Bonsai anyone? Develop a touch of knowledge in a foreign area. You won’t even have to think of what to say, just ask one of the vendors brimming with knowledge to tell you a bit about what they do and you will walk away 20 minutes later with a ton of interesting information. This is a fun way to suss out what you may want to pick up as a hobby à la #2. 
  11. Take a cooking class: If you dream of sharpening your knife skills (pun intended)) or learning how to make gluten-free croissants, you’ll learn something about the very thing that has been bringing people together since the beginning of time - food! 
  12. Go on a wine or beer tasting: This is a totally acceptable way to get day-time drunk. You’ll talk to the aficionados, learn lots that you’ll forget, nail your wine slurp and by the end of the event you’ll be making best friends with everyone within a 2 mile radius. 
  13. Meet the neighbors: make some banana bread and take it over to the nice couple down the hall or the widower across the street. Spreading a lil love near where you sleep is always a good idea. 
  14. Start frequenting a local coffee shop to read a book or newspaper: make friends with those who do the same and the people who work there.
  15. Learn a new language: you will make friends in class or with native speakers you meet up with in your own city. As you get better, plan a trip to the country that speaks the language and make new contacts as you practice.
  16. Explore a new culture: Piggyback on the language class and find out more about the culture of the country of origin.
  17. Host a get together with casual acquaintances: it will force you out of your comfort zone of the usual suspects while totally being IN your physical comfort zone. Allowing people to see you - the books you read, the magazines you subscribe to and your impressive shoe closet also allows them to find common points of interaction to engage with you.
  18. Eat dinner at the bar in one of your favorite restaurants: by sitting at the bar, you can have casual conversations with others on their own or waiting for friends. Plus the bartender pretty much has to be your friend, akin to the lunchroom supervisor in middle school. This will come in handy when you bring your new colleagues and friends to said restaurant and you have a good rap with the staff.
  19. Pick up your niece or nephew from school: You’ll finally have lil faces to put with the names of playmates, bullies and budding love interests from all the stories you have heard. Kids also work wonders in the potential mate category. I mean, have you ever seen ‘The Parent Trap’?
  20. Talk to the service people you encounter for business travel: they know lots of other
  21. business travelers and may have recently spoken to someone in your field or know of a conference that is going on that could help connect you. Besides, when you’re away from home, it is nice to have some familiar faces to strike up conversation with.
  22. Attend continuing education classes or join a local guild if you’re an artist: connecting with others who are in places where they are trying to build a specific community takes half the work out of networking for you. The other half still remains - push yourself out of your comfort zone while still getting to be yourself. 
  23. Join a community garden: sink your hands into the soil of your community with your community. This is a cool way to create something meaningful in the place you live. This will open doors for friendships when you run into them at the grocery store or at a different type of community event. 
  24. Go to restaurants with community tables: eating your lunch at a space created to spur conversation with other like minded people is a fun way to chit chat with others.
  25. Tell your mom and her friends you’re willing to be set-up on dates: Let them all know and suddenly your day book will be fun of interesting nephews or sons in your ages range.
  26. Grab a wing woman: even if you aren’t trying to meet someone to date, do any of the above listed things with a good, independent friend on hand and be open to including other people in your conversation. mile, have a positive vibe and flexible approach with people of different walks of life. You can do all the above but without an open heart and mind, your experience will feel mundane and dry. When you are open to possibilities, they will come.

A friend date is one powerful way of improving that special bond. There are many things to do in your city. So without further ado, here are... 

175 friend date ideas for 2016

1. Write a song together. 
2. Write a compelling journal about your personal lives or current events taking place in society. 
3. Read an interesting magazine together. 
4. Volunteer together. 
5. Go to the town’s fair. 
6. Visit a local observatory. 
7. Go to the park and feed the ducks. 
8. Go to the circus 
9. Attend a concert headlined by a popular artist. 
10. Have dinner at an exclusive restaurant. 
11. Prepare a delicious meal. 
12. Attend a sporting event such as football or basketball. 
13. Attend a Yoga class. 
14. Hear a famous public speaker. 
15. Attend a motivational seminar. 
16. Watch a popular television show at a mutual friend’s home. 
17. Go bowling. 
18. Hang out at the flea market, swap meet, or yard sale. 
19. Check out a play. 
20. Go to a dinner party hosted by a mutual friend. 
21. Catch special sales being held by retailers at the shopping mall. 
22. Support a school function. 
23. Burn off a few pounds at a Zumba class. 
24. Visit an art gallery. 
25. Go to the movie theatre. 
26. Build a snowman during a heavy snowfall. 
27. Bake delicious cookies. 
28. Make homemade ice cream. 
29. Go ski. 
30. Jog in an exclusive neighborhood. 
31. Participate in an art class. 
32. Participate in a scavenger hunt. 
33. Complete homework together. 
34. Go river rafting or tubing. 
35. Play badminton 
36. Visit the range for a nice game of golf. 
37. Create a list of goals. 
38. Read a spicy romantic novel. 
39. Take pictures of a popular area in town. 
40. Visit the zoo. 
41. Go to the library. 
42. Ride bikes. 
43. Learn a fun hobby together. 
44. Go roller blading. 
45. Visit a wine gallery for a nice glass of premium wine. 
46. Go on a picnic. 
47. Test drive a new car for fun. 
48. Go to the airport to look at travelers from around the globe. 
49. Go ice skating. 
50. Go bike riding. 
51. Play chess. 
52. Play backgammon. 
53. Ride a bike built for two. 
54. Canoe. 
55. Go horseback riding. 
56. Play miniature golf or pinball at an adult arcade. 
57. Take a trip to the beach 
58. Take a beginner’s or advanced swimming lesson. 
59. Water Ski. 
60. Write a short story or poem. 
61. Play popular board games or card games. 
62. Hiking. 
63. Fly kites. 
64. Play tennis. 
65. Take a racquetball class. 
66. Go for a long walk. 
67. Hit a few baseballs at a batting cage. 
68. Go sailing. 
69. Go fishing. 
70. Ride on a ferry ship. 
71. Attend a spiritual class. 
72. Have a barbecue 
73. Go for a long drive. 
74. Attend a high school reunion. 
75. Ride a motorcycle together. 
76. Brewery tour. 
77. Attend a painting party at a craft store. 
78. Check out the happy hour at a local pub or bar. 
79. Listen to a new album. 
80. Go to a thrift store. 
81. Hang out at a coffee shop. 
82. Bake cupcakes. 
83. Play truth or dare. 
84. Go to the pet store. 
85. Make brunch at home. 
86. Plan a visit to the spa. 
87. Throw a sushi party. 
88. Attend a wine tasting. 
89. Have a junk food night. 
90. Have a luncheon at a café or diner. 
91. Play Twister. This game will challenge you and your friend’s flexibility. 
92. Spend a few hours on Pinterest. 
93. Take a cooking class. 
94. Visit a nail salon for a manicure. 
95. Late night drive by popular nightspots. 
96. Take a square dancing class. 
97. Plan record each each others future (5, 10, or 20 years from now). 
98. Go to a comedy show. 
99. Make a homemade pizza. 
100. Take a foreign language crash course. 
101. Play popular video games. 
102. Watch movies all night (movie marathon). 
103. Restaurant hopping. Visit three restaurants in one night. 
104. Visit a local bakery for sweet treats. 
105. House hunting for fun. 
106. Slumber party. 
107. Share campfire stories. 
108. Check out an estate sale. 
109. Play ping-pong. 
110. Have an indoor picnic. 
111. Hanging out at a classic car show.  
112. Create a new recipe together. 
113. Visit the animal shelter and pet the animals. 
114. Look at the stars (star-gazing). 
115. Take photos of each other. 
116. Ride the bus or train together. 
117. Babysit together. 
118. Browse through you old yearbooks. 
119. Have a book club for two. Check out a book from your library and discuss it. 
120. Paint a room together. 
121. Take a swing dance class. 
122. Do a puzzle. 
123. Draw each other. 
124. Throw the Frisbee. 
125. Bake a cake. 
126. Watch your favorite television shows. 
127. Have a meditation session. 
128. Get a psychic reading. 
129. Climb a tree. 
130. Play a game of basketball. 
131. Pick fruit during spring or summer. 
132. Visit an antique store. 
133. Decorate a pumpkin. 
134. Go on a hot air balloon ride. 
135. Ride go-carts. 
136. Play bingo. 
137. Visit a forest preserve. 
138. Go to an opera. 
139. Hang out at a piano bar. 
140. Visit a nursing home and hand out flowers to the residents. 
141. Check out a haunted house. 
142. Give each other a temporary tattoo. 
143. Attend a smooth poetry reading. 
144. Check out the tourist spots in your city. 
145. Visit a hobby shop. 
146. Indoor rock climbing. 
147. Check out a fireworks show. 
148. Create a unique scrapbook. 
149. Check out the farmer’s market. 
150. Take a musical instrument crash course. 
151. Hanging out at a classic car show. 
152. Make an attempt at breaking a world record listed in Guinness. 
153. Have a sand castle building contest. 
154. Play Scrabble. 
155. Create your own sports fantasy league. 
156. Learn magic tricks together. 
157. Have a crosswords puzzle contest. 
158. Roast marshmallows. 
159. Catch butterflies with a butterfly net. 
160. Pick beautiful flowers. 
161. Take a CPR class. 
162. Look at mutual friends photos on Facebook. 
163. Take goofy or funny pictures together. 
164. Host a cocktail party. 
165. Go window shopping. 
166. Use YouTube to learn a new skill or craft. 
167. Go to a wedding. 
168. Check out amateur comedians. 
169. Play around with coloring books. 
170. Plan a mock vacation. 
171. Watch a mixed-martial arts fight. 
172. Go to a street fair or food festival. 
173. Walk on a natural trail in the forest. 
174. Go to a club hosting Karaoke night. 
175. Play a game of pool. 

Lastly, although these are all wonderful ways to get to know people, lest we not forget they are also incredible ways to get to know different aspects of yourself. Afterall, you will be the only comrade you have for life!

Tell me in the comments, what have been some of your all time fave ways to meet new friends?

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